my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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