Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
