I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
