I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
