so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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