someone threw a dead crab at me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
