And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
