I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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