If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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