Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
