Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
