he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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