is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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