Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
