Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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