butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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