The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
