dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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