That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
