Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
