i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize