And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
