...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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