Apparently you make a good broom.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize