Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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