Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
