Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
