She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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