This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
