Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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