Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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