Your tits are I can't wait for
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I am naked and annoyed.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
