she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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