just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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