WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize