i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
