two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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