I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
