Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
