I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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