And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
this will be a night to untag.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
