i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
