Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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