jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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