I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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