I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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