honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
