Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I s2g Iām about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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