my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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