His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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