My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
