your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize