I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
