and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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