he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
