i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
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I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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