I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
