She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
