Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
