Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
