bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
