so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
