Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
