what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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